So, I was sitting in my evolution class yesterday.
My friends and I were sitting in class, taking notes, and mocking the teacher. You have to understand that this class is ridiculously boring. But, I have to stay awake. So, I mock the teacher and generally have a good time with it.
Well, I'm doing what I do best, being sarcastic. I turn to my chums and start my next witty remark, when someone taps my knee.
It's a woman who is sitting in front of me. She makes sure that she has my attention, smile, and says "Hi" in the sweetest voice possible.
Now, I'm a bit taken aback. This is not something that normally happens to me. And then she starts mouthing words to me.
Rather venomously, she mouths "SHUT UP!"
Interesting. I had seen this girl laugh at my witty remarks about five minutes earlier.
And then she continues. It was, however, a bit less clear. I've narrowed it down to two possibilities. She most certainly said one of the following:
a) "I think you are a very clever man. I think I've fallen in love with you and would like to bear your children."
b) "If you don't pipe down, I'll slice out your larynx and joyfully watch as my dog eats it raw."
I would like to believe that the former is what she said. But I'll leave it for you to decide.
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Jamie Cullum - I Want to Be a Popstar
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7 comments:
I don't know what she meant, but the options made me laugh.
I am getting a very strong vibe off this woman something in the vein of "I am an insane psycho hosebeast and I will eat your spleen given the opportunity. And then pray for your soul"
Stay WELL clear.
Anaglyph - You advice is doubly noted. And as flattered as I am that she'd like to have my children, I wouldn't dream of taking her up on it. After all, if she's this crazy normally, what would she be like when she was pregnant?
"Hosebeast" actually, but I can't take credit for that phrase - it's lifted from 'Wayne's World'.
Psycho hosebeast just seems right for that kind of person...
Don't fight it. Love is a many-splendored thing
I think you've met your match! You should take her flowers and a cat kidney tomorrow!
Chickie - I have some friends who are taking an Anatomy lab. The cat kidney is actually REALLY do-able.
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