So, I've started sharing embarassing stories. I thought of another one. This is where I really start to open up. Here goes nothing.
One the weird scale, this is probably a 9 if not a 10 or 11.
I have some rather odd, uhm, noctural behaviors occasionally. It seems that when I'm particularly stressed out or just getting used to sleeping in a new place, I have a tendency to have some ridiculous dreams. There's nothing wrong with dreams. It's when I wake up and don't quite realize that the dream is over that the fun truly begins. It's kind of hard to explain.
I have had some dreams that seem all too real. Normally, the setting of such a dream is in my bed. So, eventually, I wake up from the dream, but because my waking surroundings are identical to my surroundings in the dream, I can't immediately notice that the dream is over. So, I continue where the dream left off.
To explain, I'll share about one such incident. This was a few nights after I moved into the apartment I'm currently living in.
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I dreamed that I was lying awake in my bed. I heard someone pick the lock to our door down the hall.
I suddenly had the distinct feeling that they had broken into my apartment to do some serious physical damage to yours-truly.
I lay there, terrified and motionless. I heard the footsteps in the hall get closer and closer to my door. The door hinge began to squeel.
(That's when I woke up. However, the dream was so real to me that I couldn't discern a difference once I had opened my eyes.)
I jumped out of bed. Really, you probably would be surprised to see someone wake up and get out of bed that quickly. It was pretty impressive.
Frantically, I searched for something, anything with which to defend myself. My roommates might note that I actually have quite a cache of weapons in my room. However, I wanted to keep as far from the door as possible and moving for those weapons at the time would require me to get far too close to the door.
So, I grabbed the only thing within my reach... my cellphone.
I tore it off the charger and held it firmly infront of me, shouting "STAND BACK!"
As my cellphone became unplugged from the wall, it lit up. It has a rather bright light. And for the first time since I had fallen asleep, my room was completely lit up.
It was at that instant that I realized what had happened. Now ashamed, I whispered to myself something about being a complete moron and went back to bed.
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So, there you have it. The Joe Fuel you have come to know and love is a total weirdo. I'm sorry that you had to find out this way...
Seriously though, what kind of damage could I do with a cell phone?
If anyone can relate to my unfortunate tendencies, please let me know. I feel totally alone in this.
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Prodigy - Crazy Man
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7 comments:
You might have done some damage with a cell phone 15 years ago.
Then again, you would have been 5, so maybe not.
Nice. Thanks for the support... I guess.
You should move the weapons cache a bit closer.
I jumped out of bed screaming one night, turned on the light and yanked all the covers off the bed (and the husband) because I'd had a dream where a spider the size of a salad plate had dropped onto the bed. It was kinda hard to explain that I was really trying to save us and not trying to give him a heart attack.
You could have SMS'd the intruder into submission:
PLS GET OUT OF ROOM. U HAVE WOKEN ME FRM SLEEP & I AM V. UNSTABLE.
Hey Chickie - apparently the spider-falling-on-bed dream is very common. Some friends were talking about this very thing on the weekend and two fo them have had the exact same experience you did.
My college roommate had the spider dream. She was on the top bunk and jumped off, still dreaming, grabbed a big wad of kleenex, and climbed back onto her bunk, cursing about a giant spider none of us could see. She "caught" him, and flushed him down the toilet before she snapped out of it.
So, what I'm hearing is that I am a freak. Although, I am not alone in this type of nocturnal oddity, there does not seem to be anyone else with my particular affliction.
Good to know, I suppose.
Not a freak. We all have our things.
I don't have a problem with extremely vivid dreams; I have raging insomnia. You'd think that, not having slept decently since, like, the mid-seventies, I'd be getting a lot more done. But, no. I just wander about in a groggy, grumpy state of exhaustion.
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